Secrets of Safe Online Dating

5/13/2018

Before anything else, I need to clear one thing - I have never considered online dating an option. Though Tinder gained popularity when I was too single for my age, I did not really support the idea of online dating. In fact, I don't believe in the concept of online matchmaking - for dating or for marriage - alike.



And I was living my life happily with my own set of principles.

However, the latest news about a guy from Jaipur being killed by his Tinder "date" made me think about the nuances of online dating. I realized that I might be of one opinion but it is very difficult for the millennials to not to try out this form of dating. We have to accept that to keep people away from falling as victims of the online predators, limiting the use of the internet is important - which is completely impractical in the world where we live today. Also, Facebook has now levelled up the game by announcing their in-app dating. Facebook has the largest penetration, now online dating will too!



And this simply came up because whenever I see the technology taking over, I imagine my own next generation using the technology and falling a victim of something completely uncalled for. And thus, this post. 

Millions of people worldwide use online dating services in order to find casual hookups or even a soulmate to engage in a serious relationship. Regardless of whether you are using Match, Tinder or another dating site, we all know that online dating can be annoying and frustrating at times.

So, before I started to write this post, I talked to a lot of people in my circle who have or have not used online dating. And everyone had amazing experiences to share! I am diving this post into two parts. In the first half, I am going to talk about making an effective profile. And then, how to make that profile and your habits a li'l safe to save yourself!


Use great photos 
In order to be noticed, profile photos need to be close-ups of you in your best “light,” instead of bad quality or group photos.  Group phots are a strict no-no!



Keep it simple
Write an introduction about yourself which describes you in a brief and substantial manner. Again - only if you are not there for casual hookups!



Be humble
Don’t brag by posting photos. This might create an unrealistic picture of you.

Use humor  - Not sarcasm!

Set your goals 
You need to be clear to yourself in what kind of experience you’d like to engage - casual dating or looking for a relationship. Just a personal advice - don't go there just to make "friends"!




Be realistic
In order to be successful in online dating, you need to find the person which matches you perfectly. Be aware of the fact that this is not an Amazon for dating - you just can't look for what you have imagined (objectively) and just go and get it - just because you have the app!

Expect everything
You need to be ready for every possible scenario since you can’t be sure with whom you are making contact.  And you need to respect the other person's choice and consent!


When I said choice and consent, I very consciously have in my mind that how most of the sex - offenders are present on the online dating websites. While there are a lot of statistics available for how many serial rapists and killers have been misusing the apps, the recent case of Jaipur brings to light that safety measures are to be taken by men and women alike when they decide to find their matches or flings via online dating.

Here are the few things you should always keep in mind when you decide to venture out into online dating:

Keep your chat restricted to the app
There is no point in sharing the number. Blocking wouldn't help in that case. Similarly, there is no point in baring way too much that you regret later.

Block any suspicious person
Better be safe than regretting later!

Do online research
Show your stalking skills and take your time to know about the person!



Take your own time to decide whether to meet in person or not!

Always meet in a public place
And if possible, travel with a friend. And no, this is not too much to ask for. I know you can take care of yourself, but then again - why not just play safe!

Don't get too much intoxicated on the first date
See, you can always read about these pieces of advice but it's your judgement as well that what all you should do!

It's okay to get up and leave
If you feel that this is not what you called for or it is too uncomfortable for you, get up and leave.

Be it online or traditional dating, you know that leap of faith is all what it need. Traditional dating had lesser dangers because you meet your date via "someone you know". It is just that online dating demands a li'l more attention and carefulness! Despite everything, you might find someone whom you like or, better still, love!

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All content, written or visual, unless explicitly mentioned otherwise, is an intellectual property of Sushmita Malakar.

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Picture Credits: Rohan Raizada

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