Relationship 'Virtues' : His Girl Bestie! - Sushmita Malakar Blog //]]>

Monday, January 23, 2017

Relationship 'Virtues' : His Girl Bestie!

Whenever it comes to relationships, I have always maintained two things:

One, you can never stay friends with your ex. The flame never dies. No, it doesn't. Second, a girl and a guy can never be friends. It is given that either the guy or the girl might just develop hots for the other one.

One might blame the melodramatic movies that are made supporting these assumptions of mine but somewhere deep down we all know that these are facts - absolutely true.


This picture is just an exaggerated representation. Thanks to my melodramatic friends - Shweta, Vishwesh and Rashi (Left to right) 

Having your own ideologies and living with them is completely fine. This is what I think and I have been leading my life, happily, maintaining a safe distance from my exes and guy - friends. And I was happy and peaceful UNTIL I met this guy, who eventually became my significant other and who has many 'friends who happens to be girls' and a female best friend. And yes, he is in completely normal terms with his exes. In short, he is a complete disbeliever of my ideologies.

Having said that, I don not mean at all that I have lost my peace of mind. It is just that I know it becomes pretty difficult to handle and here is what you need to do if at all you find yourself in such situation.

My only advice in such situation is that you should just run away from such guys. I mean just run as far as you can. And probably that is the reason why I am not a relationship guru!

The very first advice that you would find will tell you to be friends or at least, try to know your SO's bestie. There must be some reasons why he likes her. But I would say before anything else just be sure about his feelings for you. Everything else will eventually fall into place. And yes, the confidence of saying comes after having tried the otherwise first advice of making friends with the bestie. I tried doing that. If I don't like someone, I just don't. End of discussion.

You need to trust your guy. Do not blindly trust him but do not blindly accuse him of your imaginary hook ups with the bestie also.

Respect their relationship. There are times when you need your guy to respect the space that you share with your friends ( both girls and guys). So yes, you need to know that this is a give and take relationship.

Communication is the key. Let your guy know that you are a li'l possessive about him. Let him know if you are insecure when it comes to that lady. If he loves you, he will respect it. Set boundaries for yourself. Set boundaries, which are reasonable, for him as well. In short, just talk it out. Don't let any trivial thing come between you and your *the one*.

And ultimately, do not give ultimatums. The girl bestie might be the one making things awkward for you and not your guy. So, just understand the situation. If you have set boundaries and the trust factor is immense between you two , nothing would go wrong. Giving ultimatums makes the relationship sour and the situations worse.

Having said everything, I still believe that platonic relationships between girls and guys are not possible. They either have a past or will have a future. But I also believe that right measures always help you get the best out of your relationship.

Author's Note

This post came after a lot of experience - where things worked out and where they did not. Sorry for being way too preachy, if I had been at all. 


And for the other way round, that is, if your female significant other has a male bestie, there is just one suggestion - either run away or make the bestie run away. Nothing else will work. No, never. 

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2 comments:

Viditi said...

I agree with your two points on relationship. A good and light read it is :D

Sushmita Malakar said...

@Viditi
Thank you so much! Good to see you here :')