The Magic of "Appreciation". - Sushmita Malakar Blog //]]>

Saturday, October 10, 2015

The Magic of "Appreciation".

(This post has been picked up as a Spicy Saturday Pick by BlogAdda)

I am no relationship expert. Period.

I have never really written much about relationships in my past. But then, what is life without exploration. I am the most inappropriate person to turn to for any kind of relationship advice. And I say this because after more than a decade of being in love, I am completely clueless about the direction in which my love life should be moving when I finally want to see it settling down.

However, as a wise lady said that it is always good to remember things that happen or happened with a smile. Therefore,  I sit to write today about one of the fine things that my twelve years of devotion has taught me.

The beauty of appreciation is not hidden to anyone. We are constantly reminded of being thankful and grateful for everything in life. Appreciate what we have. Even for a mentally peaceful survival, appreciation from family and peers is what we seek. Be it at a personal front or at the professional front, appreciation is needed to keep one motivated to keep on going.

So isn't it equally necessary that when you decide to attach yourself to a person emotionally and physically, you keep the appreciation quotient alive and intact in that attachment? If you are giving your time and energy and efforts to something, it feels good to be appreciated. The other person does expect that appreciation too!

Just like you don't have to say "I love you" every now and then to let the other person know that you love him/her, being grateful doesn't mean you have to say that. And also, being grateful to the other person has nothing to do with your being less expressive.

I have always been a person who says thank you and sorry every time I want to. Though my other half of my beautiful past was not that expressive but he would always show his gratitude by giving that lovely look of "thanks for being there" and uttering some beautiful lines. He used to be a funny and unconventional guy, so he would express his gratitude and appreciation by singing some long lost Bollywood song in his terrible voice. 



There you go. You don't have to just say it or express yourself explicitly. If you are shy, you can always use some other means.

Why am I stressing on appreciation today? It is very simple. When you appreciate someone for the love and care that they shower on you, it shows the respect that you have for the person and your relationship. Picture this, your other half had a bad day at work and doesn't let you know but just cooks the best food for you or does something for you like surprise picking you up from the office, your simple words to express your thankfulness can lift up the mood so effortlessly. It makes one believe that at least something is good in their life. And this is just a minute example.

Surprises are good! When I used meet him for our date Saturdays, I would get some flowers or chocolates for him on some days. That just instantly brighten ups the day, no? Not that he was a flowers or chocolate lover, but the gesture is sweet. Even he would sometime just stop on the road to buy those helium filled heart shaped balloons. These are the most subtle way of letting the other person know that how special they are. 

Surprises always add the special zing to any relationship. And when you surprise without occasion, it just makes someone feel all the more special.

Complimenting when you really mean it helps a lot. There are times when you look just fine and then there are times when you look just wow. Doesn't it feel great that if you are making an extra effort to look just wow, the other person appreciates that? I know it does, irrespective of the gender. So go ahead, compliment your other half for the same. 

My set of compliments always use to make me feel happier. Of course, being with him was a happy state of mind but compliments just add on the happiness factor. And yes, I have always been liberal with complimenting others. 

It is important to recognize the li'l efforts that your partner makes. He/she might not be very comfortable getting up early in the morning but does that because you have to leave early everyday, then that effort deserves an appreciation. I never used to like yogurt but my then partner, who graced my life for almost a decade making me try out different things to eat, used to love yogurt. I started to eat that because our meals would be incomplete without that. Not that it was something imposed or it is a big deal, but these are things that you love to or enjoy doing for someone who deserves it. And not that you expect a recognition for that but if the effort goes noticed, it just gives you a happiness massage. 

And lastly, don't hesitate to say I love you. They always remain the three li'l magical words that can instantly lift up the mood. Though my other half did not really believe in saying that more often because according to him if you use these words too often, they tend lose their charm, I  never refrained from being as expressive as I could have been. 

Appreciating never takes a lot of your time. But trust me, these li'l efforts can really add strength and stability to any relationship.



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