Surprises are good! - Sushmita Malakar Blog //]]>

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Surprises are good!

"I am really not sure if you should do this.."
"But I am! I have always been sure about every impulsive decision of mine..." I said, while I packed every piece of clothing that I could see. 


Even today when I sit back and remember that day, I could clearly recall the look on Shikha's face. It was a day prior to my 24th birthday eve. Having stayed from my then-boyfriend-and-now-husband for like forever, I for once, wanted to spend my birthday with him.  He was staying in Evanston for almost 6 months, then. Before that he was staying somewhere in Frankfurt and before that in Shanghai. Falling in love with him was my impulsive decision so was getting married to him, even after knowing the kind of nomadic life he would be offering me in the new future. The nomadic life seemed interesting, it still does. What really terrified me was the busy life of his. 

Six years ago, when I made a decision to fly to him for my birthday, I was unsure about spending my life with him -with a guy who probably could never see anything apart from his work and career. The only thing I was sure about was the love we shared. Or probably, the love that I had, and still do. I always heard and saw people complaining about the long-distance things not working out. What really adds to the pain is the time. That is what happened with me. Our time clock were almost 12 hours apart, things were pretty difficult and what made it more difficult were the lack of efforts from our side. 

Sometimes we are so busy working for our "perfect" future, we somehow forget to seize what we have. I remember how we would spend days and weeks without even saying a hello to each other, that too in the age of the internet. The unsaid words, the unfulfilled hopes and promises and the obvious physical distance, all succeeded in moving us further apart. But that was something I wouldn't accept. 

"Shouldn't he be the one who should be flying down to you? It's your b'day! He makes the silly promises of being with you every year.."Shikha uttered, while I was still packing my things and trying to figure out if she was angry, disappointed of sad.

"It doesn't matter. At least to me. As they say -some one has to take the first step. What is wrong in doing that? It might sound stupid. It might sound so-crazy-in-love. But I really don't care." For once, I was calm and composed while actually saying those words. 

"Didn't you just see his reaction. He is just too busy to even talk to you for a moment. I doubt if he would even entertain you as a guest once you reach there. Let alone be the surprise. YOUR birthday surprise that you are planning for yourself. I just don't like it. I don't.." Shikha was clearly very upset. I understood here reaction. Being my friend since the last 8 years, she was more than parental about me.

"Look Shikha, it is fine. It is not wrong. I am not sure if it is right, but yes, I can not be the one crying over thing if they are not happening. I can try to make things happen. Today, I work and I earn, not because I have to, it is because I want to. Even I am busy, but I suddenly realized that if it is not helping me to be happy, it is not worth. Now be the friend I need right now and drop me to the airport." I said, hugging her tightly. 

Today, I am so glad that I took that step. Sometimes, you really have to let go of the fact of who's responsibility it is to take charge of the things or to make the other person happy. If it is in your hand, grab the chance. That trip to Evanston turned out to be my best birthday till date. He was happy to see me. He was the perfect host for me in a foreign land. He made each day of my stay memorable.  But what was more important was he saw me doing something that he could only think and not do because of his own restrictions he had. I never thought he was wrong. I still don't think he was. No two people are the same. We are not and that is what keeps us together. 

A fictional account. Sometimes, you need to write to make yourself believe that somethings in life are possible.

2 comments:

Aseem said...

This is so true. Many relationships are on the rocks only because both partners have a huge ego to make things work. As you said, someone has to always take the first step :).

Sushmita said...

@Aseem
And you know what?Sometimes, it is just the first step that is required :)