A New Beginning. - Sushmita Malakar Blog

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

A New Beginning.

"Madam, shall I take this carton as well?" My maid asked me as I stood in the bedroom of my old house which was once a home. 

"No Seema, I need to pack few more things. And I guess that would be it. I will bring the rest of the things with me. You may leave with the driver. Thanks" I asked her to leave politely because I wanted to spend some pretty good last moments at this place. 

I moved in here twelve years ago with my then husband after lawfully marrying him. It was a blissful union of two culturally different people and families. I still remember the day. It was today, exactly 12 years back. 

Everyday spent with him in the last decade was heavenly. He meant the world to me, he still does. But I guess people fall out of love as easily as they fall into it. It happened with my ex-husband after a decade of togetherness and a beautiful daughter.

I don't blame him for anything. I have very well accepted the fact that nothing in this world is permanent, no matter how fancy and true it may seem.

I was the one giving him the right to take me for granted forever because I never saw it as anything wrong. But things were not meant to be forever. Eventually he realized may be the love is all gone or may be he can not put up with this marriage anymore.

Not that I was a fool or spineless to really ask him or justify himself for his fall out, but I was not strong enough to probably see him say that himself that he doesn't love me anymore.

We separated an year ago and then I decided to move away to a different city. It took us an year to lawfully separate. It is not an escape neither I am being a runaway wife, but I know that even I need and want and deserve a new beginning. I have no hard feelings, no hatred, no anger or anything. I just want to start new. And that is probably the only thing I have in my mind right now.

I was finally packing the last few things left in this house. And that was exactly when I realized that I really need not to pack the li'l somethings that we got from our holidays together or the dust covered photos of our that still hung on the walls or the paintings that he made for me. I really don't need them because I really want to begin again. These are the happy things that embellished one beautiful chapter of my life, our life together. I need to start the new chapter on a completely new note, ending this one on a positive note. 

And thus, I unpacked the last carton and bid goodbye to the everything that I had. All I want now is to embrace the new beginning to something new with a smile that I want to last for a long time come. 


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