The ultimate disgust. - Sushmita Malakar Blog //]]>

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The ultimate disgust.

I have always maintained, well tried to maintain, that I probably will not discuss or bring out my disappointed that I have from the society in the terms of the moral values that we are constantly losing. The main reason behind this - pointing out the flaws in the society when you are a part of it - forgive me, but I am a li'l less hypocritical than that.

I, recently, witnessed, rather experienced something that made me feel too violated but not too helpless to react. The crimes against women has definitely seen a rise in this world. I will talk about India and more precisely Delhi. We have actually seen the disrespect and  the eve-teasing so much around us that we are naturally programmed to ignore the daily comments that the goons would pass when we are travelling in this city, which is I don't know why, is still the heart of this heartless nation. Please forgive me if I become really rude and harsh in this post, but I am here today to pour out all my disgust that will pertain for a long time to come.

What really forced me today to move out of my cocoon of my less-hypocritical status? A very disturbing incident, that happened two days ago.

I have started to travel by the Delhi Metro nowadays, because of two reasons:
1. My new destination for two months is more reachable by this connectivity than the road.
2. It takes really less time.

Now, I really feel thankful for the ladies coach that was introduced some three years ago. It can at least ensure a safe ride to a woman, if not a safe experience of the Metro. I got down at my destination and was really disappointed to see the crowd near the exit gates. I avoid crowd, always. I take the stairs instead of the escalators to avoid the crowd. I would stand in a corner, wait for the density of the human heads to reduce and then proceed-towards the train or the exit. But that day, the crowd was just so not under control. Even to stand in the corner, one had to swim through the ocean of footsteps. I suddenly felt a push from behind. The only scare that I have ever had of a crowded place is of pick-pocketing. To avoid that, I shifted my bag's position to my front side. I again experience certain kind of push. I was horrified to realized what has just happened. The a**hole standing behind me just rubbed his junk against my back. I was so taken aback by this, that I took almost five to ten second to actually realize what has happened. I turned back and shouted at him.

 "What the hell are you doing?"

That stupid bastard blamed it on the crowd. He was scared because of the voice I had raised so he tried to brush it off as a push. I shouted again

"I will call the police!"

Surely he had some balls. Well yes, he certainly did. (sic). He asked, with a smirk on his face "What are you going to tell the police?"

I have been violated. I was shocked. I was shivering with fear. And I had loads of people looking around, as mute spectators. I felt like running away, crying. But, I have always wanted to differ from the society may be. From less- hypocritical to not -hypocritical at all, the journey ended in 5 seconds.

I gathered all the strength that I had and slapped that di*khead. Twice. He fell down. He was shocked. He was scared. He ran away to the ever busy platform. There was no security around. It did not bother me then. It does not bother me now.

What bothers me today is that I was there, fighting that jerk alone. I decided to act when innumerable balls standing around me decided to leave their sacs and move up to their arses out of cowardice. And who comes to my rescue? A pretty old lady probably serving her final years of service at some Government office.

I rushed out of the metro station. I cried like a li'l child. I would have been crying even today had I not reacted at that time.

For the people who wonder what is the need of a ladies' coach in a Metro, here is your answer. The sh*theads are everywhere. They are there to make a lady traveller's life hell. You, sir, might not be the one. But not everyone using the service is like you.

I feel utterly violated and disgusted today. And I realize the pain and agony of a rape victim is unimaginable. And incomparable.

No woman is an object of any man's sexual pleasure and desire. No woman is put on this earth to satisfy  a man's horny needs and desperation wherever and whenever he wants. No, she is not.

What make the men think otherwise? It is the way a lady is supposed to be. Timid and shy?

I never shout or talk in a loud voice. I have always found it indecent for a girl or for a guy, for that matter. And now I stand, enlighten.

Talking loudly might be indecent, but raising your voice is your dignity.

I came home after that incidence. My mom was proud of me. But today, she is scared. She comes and tells me that probably from the next time, I should not show such bravery. I never intended to. But I know that my body is not a public property. My mom is not wrong on her part. You never know the retaliation. The jerk might turn out to be a psychopath. He might follow you and do something unimaginable when he finds the right chance. After all, the "male-ego" has been slapped. How strange! The male ego gets hurt when it is slapped by a lady. But it shows no self-respect when the human desires are forced on the other!

What actually encourages the "stronger" sex to prove their "strength" and "power" by forcing them on ladies who are never willing to give-in to their eroticism? I am looking for answers to that one.

What really fails to instigate the fear of law, even when something as horrendous as rape is punishable under it? Well, to some extent the answer to this is known.

Photo Courtesy: The Logical Indian
The back-up is strong. And this one picture summarizes the mindset of almost all the male humanoids(sorry, I can not call them human beings) who have never in their life respected a woman.

I am not scared because what I did. But, probably I will think twice before reacting the next time. You never know if the jerk you just opposed for the sake of your self-respect might be lurking around. It might result in something more devastating - acid attack, rape, DEATH. This might force you to think that I am thinking extreme. But come to think of it, what are the odds of this happening?

I don't know what the solution for the present day situation is. A women can not feel safe. No matter what.

PS: I am scared too. I know it is not completely right. But my mom's fear is. I might not be travelling by the Metro again. I can not travel with so much of tension - looking for some rogue lurking around the next corner perhaps. No one said the Delhi roads are safe. But may be they are not as "hard" an experience. 

9 comments:

Cheena Chopra said...

The more I come across experiences like these, the more I feel proud of belonging to this community. The era of change has finally set its first foot in. We will not let this spark die. Proud of you! :)

Ronnie said...

the first thing your profile says is 'Proud Indian'...I think its time to change it.

santwana chatterjee said...

i remember a similar incident from my past. I was travelling on the back seat of a minibus from home to office. the bus was full and we sat cramped. For some time I felt some hard thing press my left breast, I presumed it to be the briefcase the gentleman next to me was holding on tightly but a look down ward and I found his fingers behind the briefcase were the mischief makers. I stood up and shouted, "Oh my God it is your hand and I thought it was your briefcase. Shame on you, and don't ever dare do such nasty things in a bus in future". All the passengers looked at me with a glare, it was a good thirty years back, and I was a bad example of a gentle woman making such open remarks. Then they looked at the man and this time all of them almost growled at him. hahaha, that crap was putting a finger on his lips and gesturing me to please stop from speaking.
But these days, these lousy men, (son, brother, husband or father of some gentle lady) take two steps forward as the society has changed miserably and add insult to injury with a smirk or even in extreme cases with a slap and the men around us look the other way. Time to teach your son from the very beginning to respect all women, whoever she may be. So, girls, would be mothers and mothers, it is your sacred duty to cleans the society with better products.

Sushmita said...

@Cheena
Thanks! But the change will take generations to come. Generations...

Sushmita said...

@Ronnie
I don't know what to say to that..

Sushmita said...

@Santwana Ma'am
Very well said. A crime, and insult remains that no matter in what era it has been done..But I am glad people have been trying hard. As I said it will take generations for the change that we want to see, but yes, it will surely come!

Sushmita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Destination Infinity said...

This is how women should react. If many ppl. start doing this, such men will (hopefully) stop. But it's prudent to see if the offender has a group of friends somewhere near or is in a mindset to harm ppl. back. That's what your mother maybe worried about.

I don't agree to your evaluation that all men are like this. In your situation, you maybe tempted to think like that. But, I feel, there are 50% decent men, in any place.

In South India, such slapping incidents may not happen much, but if a woman shouts at a man for indecent behavior, the crowd will also join and shout at him (both men and women).

Destination Infinity

Sushmita said...

Hey Destination Infinity! Thank you for coming here! :)

Somehow, slapping is necessary I feel. If not slapping, then some regulatory action. You shout at him, embarrass him and he will go to some other place and do the unspeakable again.

Even though I am against generalization, but the fact is-high libido, that too uncontrolled is the true picture of the Indian men these days!