No, I don’t lead a frustrated and regretful life..or do I?!!

Since the last few days, lazing around at my place, practically having nothing to do, all I have been doing is this awful work of analysing my life. I hate this phase, when I have nothing to do, I get frustrated and start thinking all the useless things in this world. I don’t know why, but I have come to this conclusion that my life is full of regrets. I’ll regret for even the tiniest of the decisions that I make, and probably I’ll regret the decision that my 3rd door neighbour makes, because probably I suggested him/ her to do that!

Buying a black sandal instead of red because of a momentary decision make me feel regretful, even though I know that buying the red one would have been equally regretful! I hate shopping with loads of options, but then I hate shopping with few options as well. I hate everything around me. I hate this weather. I hate sitting at home. I hate going out. I hate being alone. I hate anyone’s company. I hate travelling in metro. I hate sitting in car. I hate playing games. I hate driving. I hate watching television. I hate sitting idly. I miss my friends. I don’t want to meet them. I get bored I call my friends, but I don’t want to talk. I’m really frustrated, so out of work, so out of mind.

I regret everything I have done till now. I regret being going to my school. I regret taking the decisions regarding my career. I regret not going out of Delhi, though I know I would have regretted otherwise. I regret going to a girl’s college, I would have regretted otherwise anyway. I regret buying this dress instead of that!

After a lot of introspection, I’m unable to find the reason of my frustration and regrets. That’s why the title of this post, to pacify and console myself.

I have to find some other way to kill my time else, I know I might get mad. I have decided to do loads of things to do, but 5 days on, all I did was self analysis. Help me please. Suggest me what to do, no, rather suggest me how to stick to do what I decide. Imagine, I’m having trouble in managing my leisure time!

1) Reading
I have bought loads of books. Going on with my latest fetish of reading Indian authors, I have come to the conclusion that I have to curb this fetish. These new books by self- proclaimed authors are nothing but typical hindi movie stories, garnished with self experienced madness. Anyway, I don’t know why I’m taking out my frustration here. Simply, I should be reading, as I have decided, classics by Charles Dicken and Oscar Wilde, and get a true taste of classic English literature.

2) Computer Games
I have downloaded and installed hell lot of games, but played none. My self analysis has over taken every damn interest of mine! Anyway I enjoy playing all sort of games, so please suggest some good games!

3) Movies
I hate watching movies in theater. I have anyway downloaded loads of moves, and seen them as well. But its not a very satisfactory way of killing time. I’m really frustrated, I realized it while writing this. I hate romantic movies, so please avoid suggesting them

4) Learning to drive
I’m afraid of driving. But still, I ‘ll do it this vacations. My Maruti 800.

5) Something useful
Ya ya..I’m learning some computer language. I won’t discuss much about it, not very fond of it anyway.

I think I’ll stop here, else I might start hating myself as well, which I know I can’t, but why take chances!

CONVERSATION

10 opinions:

Umang said...

whoa! thats some serious introspection.. gr8 rose!
anyways.. my advice to u.. just chill! its good to have a self-check but this should not demoralize u.. think about people that matter to u.. who care for u and how much u mean to them!
so.. be positive and keep smiling! :D

Leo said...

too serious introspection :P chillax li'l sis..! life's not meant to be so serious..

besides, if u've regretted everything u've done so far, that means u've regretted allowing me to be ur virtual bro too? now that can't be good can it? silent treatment chahiye kya? :P

grrrrrr :P

abhi said...

wow itne sare regrets.... its a world record.. keep going... and keep regerting... kya farak padta hai ... jo karna hai karo.. :)

Arun Kumar said...

http://my-world-rose.blogspot.com/2010/07/no-i-dont-lead-frustrated-and-regretful.html#comments

Rose said...

@Umang
Ya some serious introspection. But I'm really pissed.:(

Rose said...

@Leo
I don't regret making you my brother!
The best virtual thing that has happened to me :)

Rose said...

@Abhi
Hmmm...*thinking*

Rose said...

@Arun
What???

Arun Kumar said...

oops... browser error !!

this was my comment...
Havin a lotta free time can do this to you :P
Bring a lil crazyness into life n have no time to think !! watch 5 movies a day.... take book n dont keep it down till u finish it !! compete witha friend in PC game n play like a mad person !!! :D

Rose said...

I'm indeed doing this now!!
Its fun, hell yeah!

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